About GoParents

GoParents

About Lay Ean

My name is Lay-Ean Eng. I am a Parenting Life Coach. I help parents connect with their children through everyday fun interactions, overcome generation gaps whether it is through cultural differences or language barrier. Most of all, I help parents find themselves, having fun their lives and be the parent and person they set out to be.

I was born in Penang, Malaysia and came to Australia to study more than 25 years ago, and ended up settling in Australia. I am married and live in the beautiful city of Sydney with my loving and supportive husband, Patrick, and two young adult children, Jonathan and Eileen, both who are now in the workforce.

I grew up in a traditional Baba Nonya family (Chinese migrants who intermarried with the locals and settled in Malaysia during the early 1400s), and I was the second child of three. I can speak Malay, Mandarin, Hokkien and English. I grew up in a very close-knit family surrounded by a community of families. When I was not studying or helping out in the household chores, I was in the playground playing with my neighbours – yes, the playground was my domain… where I spent most of my afternoons.

My passion

I am a parenting life coach who has been a student, employee, entrepreneur and a full time parent in my adopted country, and is passionate about sharing with you how to:

  • Settle in to your adopted country and have a wonderful life with your family
  • Find your clarity in life and be the person and parent your family needs you to be, and
  • How to create connections with your family through fun

About GoParents

GoParents

GoParents is a community of  migrant parents,  parents and carers, who understand who they are, what they want and make deliberate, conscious choices to make a difference in both their lives as well as their children’s.

They are the community who understands that parenting is a skill, like any other skills which needs tweaking. We are parents who make an effort to seek out quality information and education to make a difference for their families.

Parents who:

  • want to be more confident in their parenting skills
  • want to feel connected to themselves as well as their families
  • connect to like minded parents and carers through the community
  • open mind to receive guidance from parenting experts to enhance their skills

I am very grateful that I made the decision to create the opportunity to be very hands-on with my children from day one. Both my children are very close in age, and not long after my 2nd child, Eileen was born, we moved from Melbourne to Sydney. I had to re-establish our base and reconnect with the new community.

Those years were a huge learning curve for me – from being student to a full time working person, and then becoming a full time parent in a foreign country.

Parenting was a new territory that I ventured into with great joy, love and full of anticipation. It was fun and rewarding, yet at times, a very challenging journey.

Throughout the beautiful parenting journey, I had to confront face to face my parenting methods, my decision making, my outlook on life, my values and my beliefs and how they influenced and impacted on my relationships with my children and family.

I had challenging moments, especially during my children's schooling years. I was confused and had conflicting values between what I knew based on my knowing and the new and foreign ways that I had to adapt to. I was torn as to who to approach about the different approaches in education and in life.

Challenges such as:

  • Why were my children challenging my parenting style and authority?
  • Why was my work life and family life not balanced?
  • How can I influence my children based on what I have learnt from my own upbringing?
  • Was my outlook on life outdated?

Those were very testing times, not only for myself, but for my family. Now looking back, those were the gold nuggets time, where I had to lift my "game", become more aware of my thoughts, my actions, my outlook, my values…

So what did I do about that?

I resorted to running workshops for teenagers, believing that those classes would be able to help resolve our internal turmoil with our children. Parents like myself were believing that the children were the issues, but perhaps not!

When running workshops and seminars for teenagers a few years ago, I had the opportunity of interacting with parents and discussed their concerns and frustrations about their children. I really appreciated where the parents were coming from and I realised it was a wakeup call for me….

Three things I learned from these conversations and about the parents frustrations:

  • Difficulty in getting the children to listen – lack of authority/connections
  • Not knowing how to inspire and motivate them – unable to influence them/relationships
  • Constantly feeling challenged and frustrated – stressed and tired/resentful

It was during these conversations that I realised that for your child to listen and cooperative, it all has to start with YOU. Your child is responding to your thoughts and beliefs, your energy and your actions.

I believe that parents are the most important people in their children’s lives. Your children create their lives through modelling your lifestyle, and through your thoughts, your beliefs and your values.

I learned that if you want to be able to inspire your children, connect with your children – it has to START WITH YOU!

It is not about the workshops or seminars, nor about coaches or teachers; it is about US as parents, who have to dig deep, bring up the awareness and consciousness to learn more about ourselves. We need to know what we stand for, and what our values are, and discard the beliefs that do not support us.

The added bonus – By living in a foreign country, it has given us an added bonus tool to explore, learn and incorporate new ideas and values for ourselves and our families.

To be an effective and conscious parent, we need to take a good look at those values we inherited from our childhood, and determine whether they are aligned with our current situation and what we intend to achieve.

From my own experience, I feel that there are two important skills that every parent would want to add to their skill sets. Treat these skills as enhancing your skills for your career.

  • Personal awareness skills: It is a powerful way to discover WHO you are and WHAT you stand for in your life.
  • Parenting skills: It will give you a better understanding about the development stages of your children and their needs.

When you become clear of WHO you are and WHAT you stand for in life, and know what you want to achieve, you will set out to be the confident parent leader your family needs as well as become the person you set out to be.

Parenting is an AWSOME tool. It brings out the awareness in you through the relationships you have with your children. Parenting teaches you how to overcome your limited beliefs and redefine your values, while at the same time incorporating your culture from your own childhood to enhance your parenting journey.

Remember, your children learn from WHO you are NOT what you say. Be the parent and person you set out to be.

I am sharing with you 10 incredible lessons that I have learned from being a parent in a foreign country and the blessings that came with it.

Have FUN! And I would love to hear your feedback.

Lay-Ean Eng

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